Calling It Quits

---

Yesterday I cut ties with someone who had unknowingly become another teacher to me.

• They trampled my boundaries every single chance they had.

• They showed little respect for the value of my time and years of expertise.

• They expected me to give them far more than what I give others and they expected to pay me far less.

• They used me as their personal financing machine.

Then they played victim when I called them out on it.

They took advantage of me because they could.

I am part of a population of phenomenally kind humans. We travel this life cautiously as we’ve been through depths of trauma that are unimaginable.

We so often sacrifice our dignity by choosing others first and burying our own needs out in some dirty hole in the backyard.

It’s only when we have the breath punched out of us that we have the nerve to speak out and say ‘no more’.

I have a list of people—due to progress, it is shorter now than in previous years—who have helped themselves to my lack of self worth and who have financially benefitted from it.

I’ve stayed loyal to companies who’ve cost me staggering amounts money due to their inept leadership and inability to convert. All while saying no to their competitors who were far more skilled at business and who were begging to actually pay me for my services.

I always thought I was doing the “moral” thing by staying loyal to people I liked.

There is nothing moral about running yourself into the ground so someone else can have and flaunt the life that you helped build.

If any of this sounds familiar, welcome to the club.

A dear and wise friend of mine told me to ‘choose myself with every decision going forward’.

If you’re like me, just reading that hit you in your gut.

I get it, and I highly advise you to take that advice. She’s one of the wisest women I’ve ever known.

People like us…we believed the lies we were told about putting others first.

We have an extraordinary capacity to love and heal and protect…so we do…but to our great detriment.

Then we feel guilty and ashamed for speaking out.

This is a betrayal of ourselves. It is a complete disregard of one’s own soul.

The photo below is one of four stays at psychiatric hospitals as I battled suicidal depression. I never wanted to share it publicly, but I did so years back to remind myself—and anyone like me—that this is what happens when you make other people’s lives more important than your own.

I have always written to you about the actual reality of this life as I appreciate so much when others share the same.

I am proud of my growth and my strength, and I am proud of my kindness.

I am also going to start making some enemies simply by speaking up and walking away from them.

It’s long overdue.

It’s my turn to enjoy the fruits of my labor, and it’s your turn to enjoy the fruits of yours.

Stand up for yourself, be kind to yourself and no matter what names they call you, their lives are not more valuable than yours.

Erin

P.S. You can read more of my essays in the archives by clicking here.

Upgrade For Full Access

If you choose to become a Paid Subscriber ($5 USD per month…which is just 16 cents per day), you will receive the following benefits:

• Access to ALL content including streaming and downloadable audios, posted videos, Special Edition private essays and teaching/coaching reserved for paid subscribers.

• Upcoming downloadable guides wrapping up my most popular posts, teaching videos and art into convenient (and categorized) PDFs so you can easily find and review the content that addresses your most pressing challenges.

• Occasional threads where I will ask this community to offer their favorite tool, book, podcast episode, etc. that has left a profound effect on a specific circumstance in life (i.e. grief, career change, major illness, divorce, spiritual awakening, etc.). These threads will NOT be incessant and overwhelming in frequency and will live here in the paid subscriber archives where you can return to view them as you encounter the narrow passages of your life.

• The ability to comment and interact on posts, etc. should you wish to interact with myself and the other very kind people in this community.

• Occasional uplifting Zoom gatherings where I will give a short talk and then take you through a guided visualization or meditation. (Streaming and downloadable recordings will be available should the timing not work for you or if you simply do not like to attend these things live.)

• As they become available (very soon), you will have access to digital download files of some of my most viral poems and quotes that you can print out for your home, office or business.

• My undying gratitude for your support of my decades-long work in mental health activism and advocacy. That work is unpaid, and costs me in fact. I greatly appreciate your help in saving the lives of countless mothers, fathers, children, partners and friends.